


Favors

by setter_soul



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Feelings Realization, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Valentine's Day, Yaoi, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 16:55:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10517925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setter_soul/pseuds/setter_soul
Summary: Iwaizumi is Oikawa's fake boyfriend. Key word: fake. Oikawa was, what it seems, tired of all the girls tripping head over heels for him and drowning him with valentines in the middle of October. However, in secret (well, not really...) Oikawa has had feelings for Iwaizumi since they were kids, and he knows that Iwazumi probably doesn't feel the same. So, with selfishness, Oikawa makes up the excuse and struggles with his depression and desperateness for his Iwa-chan.





	

The sunshine shone through the window and reflected off the closed curtains. Hidden within the dark room that lay beyond the curtains was Oikawa Tooru, sitting on his bed. His face was nestled in the palms of his pale hands, his knees curled against his chest. Around him laid clothes and textbooks and a volleyball. His phone rested on the clothes, completely turned off. Today did Oikawa decide to become a hermit, a Monday where they didn't have practice. He rather hide instead of be with his teammates due to one thing.

Oikawa had loved Iwaizumi since they were kids. When Oikawa nervously walked into the doors of his elementary school, Kindergarten, he was the first to be befriended by Iwaizumi. At first, it was just best friends growing up, but until middle school, Oikawa had realized something:

He was in love with Iwaizumi.

Of course, Oikawa was too scared to confess; and of course did Iwaizumi not love him in return. Because of this, Oikawa only goofed around normally and flirted, but Iwaizumi turned him down easily. The countless insults in return made Oikawa a bit more sensitive even though he knew they were playful. Sometimes, he would go home and just curl up on his bed and wonder if he really turned him down so rudely, or if it was just playing. Then, before he knew it, tears would make their way down his cheeks. As the same routine grew, it became more often and escalated more quickly, until it lead into depression. A hidden one, of course. When he did look sad, girls would ask if he was okay and instead Iwaizumi would slam his fist on Oikawa's head and say, "Suck it up; you have to focus."

And, despite being Iwaizumi's friend for over eight years, did Oikawa still not get used to his way of comfort. If it even was a type of "comfort." Oikawa had expected him from the start to be a caring person like he was, expected him to laugh easily and to compliment a lot of people like he did, all of those wonderful things. But Iwaizumi wasn't that type of person, which made Oikawa love him even more. Even if he had to slap the motivation into Oikawa (which was mostly the case), Iwaizumi had always gotten him back on his feet. Well, so everyone thought. The endless pit of darkness Oikawa is falling in is his love for the spiky-haired, childhood friend of his. Iwaizumi Hajime.

And Iwaizumi couldn't exactly help him out on this one.

Despite all of the things that made Oikawa think Iwaizumi loved him, he positively knew from the beginning Iwaizumi didn't. That hurt Oikawa the most and would last forever. Being in love with someone for about five years is something you cannot let go of. Before, when it was less serious, did Oikawa try to forget about it, but simply couldn't. This only made Oikawa convince him to be his fake boyfriend because he was tired of the girls asking him out and such. At least, that's what he told Iwaizumi. He actually just wanted to have Iwaizumi be somewhat affectionate with him, even if it was an act for his childhood friend.

Being his fake boyfriend convinced him enough; most of the time.

_He loves you._

_He loves you._

_He loves you._

Quickly did his daily crying escalate anyway, tears already running down his cheeks like rivers. He sighed deeply, then his teeth gritted together so hard that it could break a nut. His hands let go of his face and instead gripped his sheets carelessly thrown to the side of him. Countless more tears dripped from his chin and onto his knees. Most of the timed did it convince him.

There was a loud banging on the door that made Oikawa's body uncurl and look at the door. The door being locked, the person could not get in. Oikawa obviously knew who this was: his mother.

"Oi, Tooru! What are you doing in there? Why is the door locked?" She shouted.

"I-I'm studying, and I didn't want anyone barge in so quickly!" Oikawa answered with a trembling voice. He held back his sniffles as he wiped his eyes with his fists. "S-Should I open up?"

"Yes, thank you." His mother sighed and the banging stopped. Oikawa forced his facial expression into a rather happy yet awkward smile. He opened up the door and his mother instantly noticed his eyes: swelled up with tears. "Are you okay, Tooru?" She asked with more tenderness and concern.

"Yeah, I j-just thought of something really funny and I cried of laughter." Lied Oikawa, wiping his eyes some more. "I'll go wash my face." He quickly tried to escape his mother by walking around her and to the sink. Quickly he poured some water into his cupped hands and he flung it into his face. "I-I just finished my studying."

"Tooru! Your room is such a mess!" Oikawa's mother shouted, ignoring what he said. "Go clean it up after you're done in there, okay?"

"Yes." He sighed, trudging to his room after washing his face. He slammed the door rather lightly and leaned against the door, overlooking the dump he spent most of his free time in these days. He fell to his knees and shoved all of the clothes on the floor into a laundry basket on the edge of his bed. He picked up the textbooks and put them on a study desk. Once most of his room was cleaned, he grabbed his phone and turned it on. It was blown up with texts from Iwaizumi, which made him smile a bit.

 

**❤Iwa-chan❤: Where the hell are you? We want you to come watch a movie with us!**

**_an hour ago_ **

 

**❤Iwa-chan❤: Hurry up! We're waiting!**

**_thirty minutes ago_ **

 

**❤Iwa-chan❤: Hello, trashykawa?! COME ON!!!**

**_fifteen minutes ago_ **

 

**❤Iwa-chan❤: Gdi, we're just going to start it.**

**_two minutes ago_ **

 

**Me: Wait, Iwa-chan! I'm coming over!**

**_a second ago_ **

 

Quickly, he ran out of his house and into the street, going to Iwaizumi's home. Being in love is Oikawa's secret, just his. Nobody else's. Because who knows what Iwaizumi would do if he actually confessed his love, straightforwardly to him? Would it break their friendship as well? Or would Iwaizumi... possibly feel the same?

_No, no--- he doesn't love you._

_He doesn't love you._

_He doesn't love you._

 

_____________________________________

 

"Iwa-chan~" Oikawa called out, noticing the boy walking along the corridors. Oikawa stumbled towards him, valentines cradled in his right arm. Eventually, he made it to him and flung his left arm around Iwaizumi's waist. "Iwa-chan," He repeated.

Iwaizumi turned around and stepped back in alarm. "What?" He asked.

"I just wanted to see my beloved Iwa-chan~" Oikawa flirted, hugging him. Iwaizumi awkwardly put his arms back around Oikawa.

"Right, right... But I'm busy right now. Later."

"Aww, Iwa-chan, didn't you get me a valentine though?" Oikawa whined, nuzzling his shoulder.

Iwaizumi froze. _Shit, right._

"Yeah, but I was in a hurry today and I left it at home." Lied Iwaizumi.

"Reallyy?!" Oikawa perked up, staring at him with happiness. "Aww, thank you Iwa-chan! Here, I--"

"Iwaizumi Hajime!"

Iwaizumi's head turned to a teacher who was calling his name. "Give it to me later, okay? I have to go."

Oikawa folded his arms. "Don't I get a goodbye kiss?"

Iwaizumi's eyebrows knitted together in embarrassment and sighed, leaning over and quickly pecking his cheek. Then he turned away without a word and dashed towards his classroom.

 _Why does this guy act like we're actually lovers? It's annoying._ He thought.

 

 

~after school; no practice because of valentine's day

Iwaizumi rushed to the convenience store straight after school, deciding to get Oikawa a last-minute present. After all, he did say he did get him a valentine. He grabbed some pocky and bought it. He quickly scribbled with a pen that he borrowed, "Happy Valentine's Day!" Then he hesitated before adding: "I love you."

_It's still fake. Oikawa knows that._

Although Hajime blushed slightly as he wrote it. He darted back to the school, knowing Oikawa would still be there, for many girls probably would've confessed to him by now despite how Iwaizumi was already his "boyfriend". He shuffled towards a wall near Oikawa being crowded with girls, leaning against it and waiting.

Five minutes flew by slowly as the girls began to drift away and Oikawa made his way over, pinning Iwaizumi against the wall and giving him a kiss on the nose. Iwaizumi huffed and shoved him back. "Trashykawa. I ran home and grabbed that valentine for you."

"Oh, thanks, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa smiled, taking it from his hands. The setter was holding two bags full of valentines from girls but put the bags down. He looked down at it and turned it over, reading the message on the back. He teared up and blushed, grinning. "Aww, Iwa-chan~! I love you too!" He wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi and nuzzled his chest.

Iwaizumi awkwardly looked up, noticing some girls whispering to each other. Pretending that he never looked at them, he patted Oikawa's head. Then he leaned in and muttered, "Oi, Shittykawa, you know this is just a fake valentine, right?"

"Yeah, but, if I'm telling you this, they wouldn't approach me, right?" Oikawa replied in a rather annoyed whisper. Then he cleared his throat and spoke back up. "Want to share some of it?" He offered, opening up the box and putting the end of a piece into his mouth. "Eh? Eh?"

He grabbed the stick and broke it off, eating the other half. The usually happy boy frowned and cocked back his head, whining: "So mean, Iwa-chan!" He finished the other half. Iwaizumi just rolled his eyes. "Please~?" He took another piece and put it in his mouth.

"No, Shittykawa."

He pouted at Iwaizumi and it seemed that he somehow got his sierra brown eyes sparkle like a dog's. With one last night, Iwaizumi gently bit the other end and Oikawa smirked in return.

"Yay~ thank you Iwa-"

Then Iwaizumi bit down on the small stick of pocky and broke it in half. "Sike."

"Meaaaan!" Oikawa looked actually irritated, so he ruffled his hair.

"Okay, sorry, sorry." Iwaizumi sighed. "You're too sensitive sometimes."

"That's where you come in, Iwa-chan~ That's why I love you so much~" Oikawa giggled, pecking his cheek. Iwaizumi froze for a moment. Did Oikawa... really mean that? No, no, that's just acting. Yeah, just good acting. Surely Oikawa didn't actually love Iwaizumi? Iwaizumi remained blank. "Iwa-chan?" Oikawa looked up at him.

"G-Gah, sorry. Let's go home." Iwaizumi quickly snatched Oikawa's wrist while Oikawa swiftly snatched the bags of valentines.

"Ohh~ We can go home and cuddle?" Oikawa raised his head and smirked.

"No, Shittykawa." He grumbled, letting go of Oikawa's wrist and shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Aw, okay..." He whimpered, trying to guilt-trip him. It obviously didn't work.

In about 10 minutes, they arrived at Iwaizumi's house. Oikawa kept eating his valentines treats as they went, and offered a few to Iwaizumi. He refused them all. Occasionally as they walked, he'd notice Oikawa's facial expression really... disappointed. He pretended like he didn't know what he was talking about when Iwaizumi questioned him about it, too. It made Iwazumi incredibly suspicious.

They went into his bedroom and Oikawa flopped down on Iwaizumi's bed, sighing. "My face hurts."

"Pft, like I care." Iwaizumi muttered as he put his backpack down next to his desk, taking out his textbooks and papers.

"Iwa-chan!" He gasped. "You're supposed to." Whined Oikawa, rolling his entire body under Iwaizumi's covers and snuggling up.

"Oi, don't go to sleep, Trashykawa." Muttered Iwaizumi, his eyebrows knitting together as he snatched the back of his shirt and pulling him out of bed. "If you were to do it anyway, why not sleep in your own bed?"

"But I rather sleep in your bed, with your smell~" Oikawa purred and inhaled a whiff of his blanket.

"God damn, cut it out with the acting already. There's nobody around." Iwaizumi growled.

There was a moment of hesitation before Oikawa sat up. His once shimmering brown eyes had dulled slightly as he thought for that moment. _Tell him. Tell him you're being serious. You're an amazing person, right? He'll love you back... He loves you._ A voice said gently to him.

 _No. He doesn't..._ Another voice cooed out of the darkness in his head.

Oikawa struggled with the voices in his head bickering back and forth, until he finally decided to tell him. Small tears welled up in the corners of his eyes and he gritted his teeth, trying to prevent them from falling.

"But I'm not acting anymore, Hajime!"

 

 

 

_____________________________________

 

"Eh?" Iwaizumi turned around. He looked confused. _He called me by my first name? And he sounds serious._ "You aren't?"

Oikawa's pale hands were shaking as he stared up at his friend. "I-I'm not joking! I really do love you!" The words poured out of his mouth without even thinking about it. "I was just scared that you didn't like me back, s-so I just wanted to at least be pretend about it!"

"Oh..." Iwaizumi said quietly, trying to process all of this. He stood silently. "Well, you know, you could've just simply told me and not lie about it." He muttered after a pause. "Other than that, I don't know what to say... I mean, I can't lie to you..."

Silence dragged along with them until Oikawa stood up and looked at his feet. "So you don't love me back?" He mumbled.

Iwaizumi flinched and then turned to him. "No, not the way you're thinking." He approached his friend and pulled him into a comforting hug. Oikawa buried his head into the crook of his neck, sobbing. "I'm sorry, I really am." His hand rested on the back of Oikawa's soft brown hair, his fingers digging into it.

"I-It's okay, Iwa-chan. I'm s-s-still grateful that y-you're my f-f-f-friend..." Oikawa sputtered between sobs, his voice muffled from his face being buried in his best friend's shirt. "I'm g-going to go home, o-okay...?" He drew away and grabbed his things, stalking off.

Iwaizumi just blankly nodded as Oikawa left his home. Tears streamed down his cheeks, his hand gripping the fake valentine. He wanted to just break it. There's no meaning behind it other than _just friends_. And Oikawa knew he wouldn't have even gotten him a gift if they were friends and not fake lovers.

There are other people in this world, Oikawa knows. And if Iwaizumi doesn't love him back, that means that there's someone else who's... _better_...in this world, right? Someone who met to Oikawa's childhood dream boyfriend expectations: nice, sweet, handsome, not so mean and harsh, yeah. Someone who loves him. Yeah. Someone perfect.

Exactly.

Someone who makes Oikawa smile no matter what, someone who can fix _all_ of his problems, not someone that would make Oikawa depressed, not someone who had to beat the courage into him.

Of course not...

He took a piece of the pocky and fiddled with it as he walked to his own home. He was so busy thinking and not paying attention that he had no idea where he was actually going. He didn't focus on his surroundings. He stayed on the sidewalks, but once he wandered from it, and quickly did he realize what was happening in that moment.

If it were in slow motion, it would've been painful. But he was glad it went by so quickly, so he wouldn't have to drag on with all of horrible realities and his depression.

 

 

~next day~

"Hey, Iwaizumi-san, where's Oikawa?" Kunimi asked with a bit of worry hinting his voice. Iwaizumi just shrugged. Oikawa showed up on time almost always, but sometimes he would be late.

"I don't know. Last time I saw him was yesterday." Iwaizumi replied, then flinched slightly, remembering everything that happened yesterday.

 _"I really do love you!"_ The quote mocked him. His voice mocked him. His fists clenched up in memory.

"Where?" Kunimi pushed slightly, looking up at Iwaizumi.

"He came over yesterday, then said he was going to go and I haven't seen him since. Maybe he just slept in or something..." He blinked, staring down at his feet while hesitating. "I'm going to call him." He turned away.

He pulled out his phone and walked outside the gym, dialing Oikawa's number. However, a robotic voice said: _Sorry, this number is no longer available._

"Wha...? Ugh, bastard..." He hissed quietly. "This better not be a joke."

He called his mother's phone. His hands were trembling with nervousness now. Oikawa maybe got a new number? No, he would've texted it to him. Did his phone break? Maybe. Probably. How, though?

"Yes, Iwaizumi-kun?" She spoke. He could tell her voice was shaky, concerned. It made him even more nervous, but he ignored it.

"Hey, uh, Oikawa isn't here at practice today, did anything happen? I tried calling him, but his number was unavailable." Iwaizumi explained, trying his best to keep his voice firm.

"Oh, you.. don't know?" His mother asked quietly, then a sniffle.

"Don't know what?" His hand clutched the phone, tears welled in his eyes, face flushed red; he knew exactly what his mother would say:

"Oikawa got hit by a car y-yesterday..."

 

 

_____________________________________

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

Nobody was in the room where Oikawa laid in the white hospital bed surrounded by baby blue curtains. His breath and heartbeat was slow, his eyes were closed and his hands were cold. Hospital food laid nearby next to his head, but his body refused to wake up. However, he _himself_ was panicking. With all of his senses cut off, he could only live in a fake reality where he was awfully unfamiliar about. Having a lack of sleep, he barely noticed the fact that there was a whole other world inside his own head.

And, unshockingly, that world was worse than Earth.

Nightmares danced in this world, shadows of past happy memories painted into the sky peeled away and into piles of debris; this place was his living nightmare he refused to go to. It was worth it, though - the loss of sleep over this wretched planet? He'd take it any day.

But now, he had no choice but to live here for who knows long? It might be weeks, months, _years_ until he'd return to Earth. It was his fault, anyway, deciding to wander into the road like a lost puppy and get hit by a car. Honestly, by this time, he wished he was just dead; even though he had no idea what Heaven or Hell was like he wished he was in one of those universes. Definitely not here. Definitely not Earth.

"Are people worried about you?" Taunting voices whispered, already knowing the answer.

"I don't know." He helplessly replied. "I hope so."

"Well, Oikawa," they murmured in his ears, "hoping does not get the answer."

"I know." He sighed. Hoping isn't completely bad, right?

More unfamiliar noises rang in the vulnerable boy's ears as he stood, taking in his surroundings. He clasped his pale hands over his ears, the tips of his fingers running through his fluffy brown hair. His body shook as he could feel blood trickle in streams and waterfalls.

_Is this really my head? Well, if it is... Can't I make everything go away?_

He closed his brown eyes tightly and made everything disappear, to his surprise. He was already emotionally and mentally weak, only physically was he strong. Obviously. His eyes opened again to see nothing but pitch darkness, and the only thing he could hear was the rushing air.

"Hey, Oikawa..." A familiar voice said slowly in his ears.

_Hajime._

Despite how much he tried to speak, nothing came out of his mouth. _Is he really out there?_

The voice continued, "Can you do me a favor and wake up? Everyone's worried about you."

_Yeah right._

"I am too."

_Yeah right._

"Seriously, Trashykawa." He said with more anger in his tone. "You're still my best friend. You've been out for three months. Even Kageyama's worried."

Oikawa could almost see his face, but being so caught up in these nightmares did he only see his muscular silhouette, but couldn't recognize his own face.

Oikawa could feel him sit down on the side of the bed in the real world, and a flash of cold went through his hand as Iwaizumi's finger gently rested on his knuckle. "Okay, fine, Trashykawa... I've been thinking..." He began, then hesitated while muttering out with a small voice crack, "...and I... I love you too, okay? Are you happy now? Just, _please_ , wake up..."

_Stop pitying me._

"I'm sorry, I really am. I'm not pitying you either. Please, show me s-something..." He whispered in a hoarse voice now, "...show me you're listening. Show me you're alive."

_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

"I'll come back tomorrow." He quietly murmured, and the warmth of his fingertip left Oikawa's hand, but a warm kiss on his forehead escalated through his body and made him flinch. Iwaizumi didn't notice the shiver.

_I'm trying, Iwa-chan. I really am._

Oikawa felt his reality flashback as his arm threw itself forward and clutch Iwaizumi's wrist. Iwaizumi turned around and looked at him, who had his eyes opened slightly, pleading him to stay.

"S-sta..." Oikawa rasped out, and all of the pain came back to him.

Iwaizumi stared for a moment before sighing and moved Oikawa to the side of the small hospital bed before climbing in himself and laying beside him. He smiled weakly as Iwaizumi moved Oikawa's head into his chest and his fingers rustled through his sierra brown hair. Oikawa's squinted eyes closed, so much pain running through his body.

_It's too much. It's too much._

He tilted his head up and Oikawa opened his eyes slowly. Iwaizumi's thumb rested on his chin and he pressed their lips together, to Oikawa's excitement. The heartbeat monitor beeped much too quickly, and all of the pain vanished for a moment.

"I love you, Trashykawa."

"I love you too, Iwa-ch.." Oikawa tried to say clearly, but it was muffled. Unnoticed by Iwaizumi, the heartbeat monitor raced and then came to a halt.

Realizing the long beep that would never end, Iwaizumi hopped out of the bed in alarm. Doctors rushed in urgently.

The doctors tried to zap him back to life, but it was failing. Iwaizumi shook, his hands suddenly cold and trembling. His eyes watered against his own will and streamed down his cheeks. Slowly his hands fell to his sides and turned into fists, staring at the ground with his nose scrunched up.

"...He's dead." One of the doctors said, looking at Iwaizumi. "What happened in the first place?"

"I... came in..." Iwaizumi shakily explained, "...I kissed him... and that happened..." His hand slammed against his forehead, running through his spiky dark brown hair.

"Oh." The small female doctor replied. "I'm...dearly sorry for your loss." She held his hands with comfort but he yanked away.

"It's fine." He lied. It was not fine. It was everything _but_ fine. It was terrible, horrible, shocking, _miserable_. "Yeah. It's... _completely_ fine..."

 

 

 

_____________________________________

"How long...has it been?" Iwaizumi whispered gently. His shoes sank into the moist dirt in front of the small curved piece of stone. Wilting rose petals from previous visits laid in front of the tombstone. Rain poured and trickled down the grave. His head hung as he stared at it with guilt. Every hug, kiss, and cheesy pick-up line and flirt Oikawa gave to Iwaizumi was put in with full effort and emotion, stitched together helplessly from the falling pieces of his shattering heart. Iwaizumi ripped it in half until that last half said "I love you too...", which instead he treasured.

"It must have been long," A shaking smile appeared on his face as the rain dripped from his turquoise umbrella. Tears ran down his cheeks quickly. "I'm twenty-nine now. I can't think of your voice or your face anymore... I can't remember." His body trembled. It was so cold. Iwaizumi glanced down at the bouquet of flowers he held in his right hand. "I got more flowers for you." He set the bouquet near the grave.

"I've been alone for so long now." Iwaizumi sighed. "I always imagine us being married, getting a house, becoming Olympic volleyball players together and winning championships together. But it's my fault that I turned you down so much... All of that might have happened if I wasn't so harsh. I'm so...fucking...sorry..." He covered his eyes which were full of tears. "I treated you like shit, I even called you that. I kept pushing you away when, overall, I was too oblivious to know that I loved you back all along." He confessed to the grave.

He let out a loud gasp before he sobbed. Only here did he go when he was this sad, and only here did he cry. Everything happy reminded him of Oikawa. It was so easy turning him down, but now that he's actually gone...now that Oikawa...was gone...it was so hard losing him.

_"Aww, I love you too, Iwa-chan!"_

_"I'm not acting anymore, Hajime!"_

_"I l-love you too, Iwa-ch..."_

"Fuck." Iwaizumi whispered. "I should've died. You didn't deserve death. I did."

He always said that to him.

"I love you."

He always said that, too.

And, always, always did he get no reply from the tombstone, but he always heard that quiet whisper of the air that said:

 _"It's okay, Iwa-chan."_ The wind always said.

_"I love you too, I always will."_

Every kiss they had was real. Every hug and cuddle was real. Every word they said to each other was actually _real_. Well, most of it. And Iwaizumi couldn't even tell until his third year of high school, where Oikawa died. He couldn't tell until his eighteenth year of his life when Oikawa died. He couldn't tell until Oikawa died.

"Well..." Iwaizumi stood up and, with a big sigh, clutched his fists. "I'll... see you tomorrow, like always."

_You too, Iwa-chan. You too._

And with that, Iwaizumi walked away and back to his car.


End file.
